five more things that annoy me the most

1) silent rooms where the smack-gnash-chew of someone grinding ferociously at a piece of gum can be heard directly behind me
2) standardized tests
3) bodily functions
4) karma
5) political . debates

instances when less is (gag) more

when less is a good thing and more is a nightmare

1) roommates
2) disney channel
3) bumper stickers
4) nose hair
5) celebrity news

instances when less is (not) more

when less is, without a doubt, less

1) teeth
2) potential
3) natural resources
4) time
5) ice cream

five things people lie about

1) exercise
2) experience
3) controlled substances
4) sex
5) family

five more jobs I wish I had

1) t.v. doctor
2) jello test taster
3) lighthouse keeper
4) celebrity fragrance producer
5) Jared

five things that annoy me the most

1) talk radio
2) paula dean
3) fruit flies
4) my roommate's girlfriend's voice when I'm trying to take a nap
5) unibrows

make it a three-fer

five political things that make me blink

1) I guess it's obvious which party controls (most of) the internet. Although, what made me blink was the inclusion of the "bonus video." Seriously?
2) He makes a few good points... kinda. I mean he's an actor, so I guess that means we should sort of pay attention... right? Where's Tom Cruise's opinion anyway?
3) All I could think about was "his shirt is way too big!"
4) November is going to be nuts... doesn't matter who wins
5) It's hard to remember sometimes, as we get caught up in Obama-land, that there's another side to the election. My grandmother and aunt send me plenty of closed-minded and down right racist emails on a daily basis bent at appealing to my "if not this, then must be that" sensibility. If I'm for Obama, then I'm against Iraqi freedom and our military. And if I'm against the military, then I'm anti-American and unpatriotic. If I'm anti-American, then I'm Satan. Thus, McCain must be president. I just had mental flashes of the Scarlet Letter and Animal Farm (the curse of an English major). Some of the emails I've received from family members have made me downright sick. I guess they have their point and their right, as do several hundred thousand other Americans. I just hope that, as I grow older, I don't lose my ability to stay open-minded and considerate of all the factors that sit on top of Washington, DC. I hope I'm never sending my kids and grandkids intolerant and offensive emails... But perhaps tradition, like stereotypes, exists beyond our control...

It's another twofer fer twoday

five words I aim to use more often because they make me feel good

1) gratis
2) incumbent
3) strudel
4) jolly
5) pardon


five words I never want to hear again because they make me feel gross

1) blogosphere
2) economy
3) adult
4) wikiality
5) rent

five things that defined my weekend

and I wish hadn't

1) personal pan pizzas
2) a sick roommate
3) four kegs
4) stale ultra-light cigarettes
5) the internet

five jobs I want

1.) The guy that thinks up ways to show how absorbent a brand of toilet paper is in a commercial
2.) Professional bobsled athlete
3.) Keebler Elf
4.) The guy (or girl) in charge of naming Ikea furniture
5.) corpse (#43)

five things in my room that I don't think I need anymore... nor ever did

1) 35 mph speed limit sign
2) pack of floppy disks
3) sigmund freud action figure
4) rubber ink stamp with the phrase "Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read."
5) three of my four "complete collections" of shakespeare

five ironic futures that will never happen

1) Ron Paul becomes the first President to ever win an election as a "write-in candidate"
2) Google becomes its own nation, builds an army of ridiculous robots, and takes over the world by force while repeatedly screaming "I'm feeling lucky!"
3) Scientists discover that marijuana is the cure for cancer, HIV, diabetes, and hangovers, but put off telling the world until after finishing an episode of Family Guy
4) Bill Gates de-invents the internet just to show everyone that he can
5) Britney Spears gets the last laugh

five things mentioned during a conversation I'm having right now

1) Walking with bombs
2) freewill as an anti-christian invention
3) Cookie Monster
4) Dr. Dre
5) Riding in the bed of a truck on a highway

five things that I don't understand as much as I should

1.) punctuation;
2.) the government
3.) el spanish
4.) sarcasm
5.) American Psycho

philinks

new philinks posted