5 Terms I Misunderstood When I Was Younger

1.) Affirmative Action: "Did you take action?" "Affirmative."
2.) Penultimate: a ballpoint to put all other ballpoints to shame
3.) The Electoral College: a place of higher education with majors in ballot tallying and writing confusing political run-on sentences
4.) Third World: an alternate dimension in which money is worth more than it actually is and water is bad for your health
5.) Menstrual Cycle: a magical traveling group of musicians who visit once a month--among them, famous children's poet "Aunt Flo" and a mysterious vagabond known only as "The Rag"

Bonus: Love

5 Things I See in My Immediate Future

1.) A glass of wine
2.) A blink
3.) A sandwich
4.) A good idea
5.) A nap

You may be a nerd of my generation if...

1.) You have ever dreamed in video games
2.) You quote facts you read on Wikipedia
3.) You have ever started a story with, "something I wrote in my blog..."
4.) You can hum the entire soundtrack to Tetris
5.) You keep a collection of floppy disks titled "killer Apps for W95!!"

5 Beliefs that Scientology Believers Believe

1.) Good ol' L. Ron is god.
2.) Humans are polluted with alien souls
3.) Ol' L. Ron is actually still alive, just not in his body... and not on Earth. In fact he isn't alive, but actually a plasma spirit thingie on a planet that can't be seen with a telescope... Oh! and he's coming back soon.
4.) You too can buy happiness
5.) Tom Cruise is NOT insane.

5 Songs I Want Played at My Funeral (on loop)

1.) "I Won't Back Down" - Tom Petty
2.) "I Will Survive" - version by Cake
3.) "Ain't That a Kick in the Head" - Dean Martin
(unless, of course, I die via kick to the head)
4.) "Another One Bites the Dust" - Queen
5.) "Thriller" - Michael Jackson

5 Things I Wish the Monster From Cloverfield Had Been

1.) Mutant State Puff Marshmellow Man
2.) Santa
3.) My Third Grade Teacher Ms. McCrae
4.) Brittany Spears
5.) Real

5 (People) That Define Who You Are By Contrast

1.) President Bush (Sr. AND Jr.)
2.) Prefontaine
3.) Michael Jackson
4.) Dickens
5.) Hippies

5 Facebook Applications Not Yet Available

1.) Super Duper Quadruple Poke (Basically an hired assassin)
2.) Cribbage
3.) "Be my friend... Please!" wall
4.) Inside Joke-a-nator (an obscure and misunderstood reference to a movie from the 80's and 90's every day)
5.) Heath Ledger Interactive Fan Site (Chat it up with the heart throb) too soon?

5 Ways To Become a DIY God

1.) Knit something
2.) Take an ordinary object and put an LED on it
3.) Construct a vehicle from garbage
4.) Attach an LED to an LED
5.) Take lots of pictures and make a movie of yourself making a coat hanger earring holder

Don't believe me? [Swoosh]