1.) Good ol' L. Ron is god.
2.) Humans are polluted with alien souls
3.) Ol' L. Ron is actually still alive, just not in his body... and not on Earth. In fact he isn't alive, but actually a plasma spirit thingie on a planet that can't be seen with a telescope... Oh! and he's coming back soon.
4.) You too can buy happiness
5.) Tom Cruise is NOT insane.
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