Ten Things I Learned From the New Geriatric Jones Movie

1.) I want to be a professor
2.) There will always be a riddle.
3.) The government is loaded with secrets
4.) The world was almost destroyed by aliens in the early fifties.
5.) Sometimes the riddle will be written in a language that only a very small number on the planet know how to read. I will be one of those very few people.
6.) Everything stays fresher longer inside of a refrigerator
7.) As long as you duck, even a little bit, you will almost certainly avoid bodily harm.
8.) balance is exponentially increased when on top of a speeding vehicle
9.) I will solve the riddle by being well rehearsed in classic literature and only when I am out of breath
10.) Spielberg hates Russians