pretty much the most profound things that I can think of at the moment

1.) cartoons in the New Yorker
2.) an episode of Scooby Doo dubbed over with indie folk music
3.) which came first, the chic pea or the eggplant?
4.) the verbal response you would have if you heard from a friend that a professional athlete was kidnapped last night, only to be found by police two hours later
5.) this