1.) Air conditioning is the cure for cancer, aids, and swamp ass.
2.) Swiping your open hand across anything (a hopeless game of chess or a cluttered desk top) doesn't ever actually prove a point. As the argument or tantrum rages on, everyone is left silently wondering, "who's going to clean that up?!"
3.) Upon further contemplation, I do not, in fact, need a motorcycle for better gas mileage. I need a horse.
4.) Personal enjoyment of smooth jazz and the weather channel can be directly correlated to the body's current levels of drugs and/or alcohol. I'm working on the graph.
5.) The reason gas prices are so high is because you pick your nose when no one is looking.
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