Ten Things I Learned From the New Geriatric Jones Movie

1.) I want to be a professor
2.) There will always be a riddle.
3.) The government is loaded with secrets
4.) The world was almost destroyed by aliens in the early fifties.
5.) Sometimes the riddle will be written in a language that only a very small number on the planet know how to read. I will be one of those very few people.
6.) Everything stays fresher longer inside of a refrigerator
7.) As long as you duck, even a little bit, you will almost certainly avoid bodily harm.
8.) balance is exponentially increased when on top of a speeding vehicle
9.) I will solve the riddle by being well rehearsed in classic literature and only when I am out of breath
10.) Spielberg hates Russians

Reasons I'm rethinking my mother's day gift

1.) She told me not to get her anything... and I'm beginning to think that mother is always right.
2.) Address book? Seriously? I mean, really?
3.) Irony of giving my mother an empty address book the day after I graduate college with no place to go.
4.) Flowers are pretty. Moleskin and alphabetized, lined paper is not.
5.) An address book? c'mon!

What I do at my new (and first) job fresh out of college

1.) Empty trash
2.) Walk around briskly so as to look important
3.) Adjust my tie
4.) Check trash cans
5.) Fill in blanks
6.) File bulky files into file cabinet with other files...
7.) Look into trash cans and judge when they will need to be emptied in the not-too-distant future
8.) Spin around very very fast in my desk chair
9.) Loosen tie
10.) Write this
11.) Make lists of people I should call
12.) Day dream of office innovations
13.) Empty trash

5 things the war in Iraq is about (not oil)

1.) The Democratic Primaries
2.) The Holy Grail
3.) Street Cred
4.) Overpopulation
5.) You

5 Things White People Like

So I've been reading a blog called "Stuff White People Like" and it's brilliant. I feel that they have left out some very important "stuff" however.

1.) White people like self deprecation (or just deprecation in general) - It's hip to make fun of yourself, or others around you, as long as its in a classy and educated way. The ability to Make a persuasive argument is the new "I own a Jaguar." Just read the blog mentioned above
2.) White people love saving endangered things - If it's cute and it's in crisis, white people will throw money in its direction (whilst everyone else watches, because there's nothing worse than donating money and it going unnoticed)
3.) White people like expensive cookware - The knives don't go in the dishwasher and the $70 fire truck red Paula Deen Non-Stick skillet is not to be touched by anything metallic while stirring those cage-free eggs.
4.) White people enjoy shows about doctors - Scrubs, House, ER, General Hospital, Grey's Anatomy, to name a few.
5.) White people love blogs