five miserable fake ayn rand titles

1) atlas hugged
3) atlas was drugged
4) chat list unplugged
4) prometheus sighed
5) the found in bed

five things that make you wonder if its creator was on drugs

1) lolcats
2) the many worlds interpretation of quantum mechanics (even more questionable: the many-minds theory)
3) planet earth the series
4) giant t.v. remotes
5) planet earth the thing

five things people lie about

1) exercise
2) experience
3) controlled substances
4) sex
5) family

five ironic futures that will never happen

1) Ron Paul becomes the first President to ever win an election as a "write-in candidate"
2) Google becomes its own nation, builds an army of ridiculous robots, and takes over the world by force while repeatedly screaming "I'm feeling lucky!"
3) Scientists discover that marijuana is the cure for cancer, HIV, diabetes, and hangovers, but put off telling the world until after finishing an episode of Family Guy
4) Bill Gates de-invents the internet just to show everyone that he can
5) Britney Spears gets the last laugh

five depressing things

1.) that stain on your favorite shirt that you didn't notice until you wore it to that bar on Saturday night
2.) bank statements
3.) the movie Kids
4.) high school faculty
5.) depressants

The most profound things that have gone through my head in the last week

1.) "Even flushing the toilet has pros and cons."
2.) "If you throw enough wet spaghetti on a wall, some of it will stick."
3.) "Sometimes I feel that I'm the most fucked up when I'm not, actually, fucked up."
4.) "One day you'll wake up and realize that there are more days behind you than ahead of you, and you'll decide one of two things: keep looking ahead or start looking behind. And I can't decide which one would be better."
5.) "It's only a body."