five things that offend me

1) keanu reeves
2) places that say they're not hiring but that they're accepting applications
3) bad breath
4) facebook suggesting people it thinks I should be friends with
5) fiscal policy

five generic long-term goals

1) find a job I like, and keep it
2) don't be responsible for, or even a contributing factor to, anyone's death
3) be someone's role model
4) don't go to jail
5) wrestle a clown

five more dirty jobs for mike rowe

1) elementary school janitor
2) costar to ben afleck
3) plumber for andrew zimmern
4) testicle surgery shaver
5) accountant

five more jobs I wish I had

1) t.v. doctor
2) jello test taster
3) lighthouse keeper
4) celebrity fragrance producer
5) Jared

five jobs I want

1.) The guy that thinks up ways to show how absorbent a brand of toilet paper is in a commercial
2.) Professional bobsled athlete
3.) Keebler Elf
4.) The guy (or girl) in charge of naming Ikea furniture
5.) corpse (#43)

To Do

1.) figure out why two jobs that suck are not better than one that is tolerable
2.) buy more khakis
3.) find a pair of sunglasses that fit my awkward shaped face and don't make me look like either a bug or a cyborg sent to protect John Connor
4.) read that book that was leant to me and has been sitting quietly on the floor beside my bed for three months.
5.) write something other than another damned list

ten things I have done since my last post

It's been a while.

1.) had a birthday
2.) scaled a mountain
3.) learned something new
4.) gotten a second job
5.) come up with a new emoticon for sanguine [:<≠>
6.) gotten mad at myself for not doing something more often
7.) ate raw oysters
8.) gotten two haircuts
9.) started eating meat again
10.) laughed at someone