five new names for my book that hasn't been written

1) no (dust)jacket required
2) because i could
3) this is about you
4) platitudes with attitude
5) clever title

five questions I'd like to ask barack

1) who's your speech writer?
2) are we there yet?
3) do you have change for a dollar?
4) nervous?
5) can we?

five miserable fake ayn rand titles

1) atlas hugged
3) atlas was drugged
4) chat list unplugged
4) prometheus sighed
5) the found in bed

five more names for that book I haven't written

1) not so long ago
2) misquotes
3) angels in the architecture
4) bookmarks and dog-ears
5) the adventures and mishaps of the curious Mr. Skaggs

twenty five doesn't feel like enough

A response to my sister's facebook note

25 things about me

1) I cannot handle monotony.
2) I have very selective memory. Meaning, it’s not bad memory. There are just less of them. The things I do remember are extremely vivid and detailed.
3) I really don’t like my last name.
4) The books that are on my floor, or next to my bed, or stuffed inside a backpack say more about me than the books that are on my shelf.
5) No matter how hard I try, I will never understand religion.
6) I find comfort in clutter.
7) I’m afraid of broken bones.
8) I have mixed emotions about being passed by other cars while driving.
9) When I was three, I was told what the word “architect” meant. From that day onward, I wanted to be one. I’m not exactly sure when, why, or if I ever changed my mind. But I’m not one yet.
10) I lean towards optimism 93% of the time.
11) I once got arrested and spent a weekend in jail.
12) The only times when I am simultaneously frustrated and happy are when I am writing, creating, or envisioning.
13) I wish my life were more like a music video.
14) I have two tattoos. And I intend to get at least one more.
15) I name everything.
16) What frustrates me the most in life is forgetting a great idea. It has become a life-long research project for me to find a custom, convenient way to take notes.
17) I value intelligence and maturity.
18) I cannot recall a day on which I have ever felt clear headed.
19) There are two dents on my forehead from two out of the three times I cracked it open during childhood. I can’t remember one of them.
20) I’m a bit of a hypochondriac.
21) I talk to myself, more than I even notice. It’s like second nature. A habit. I have a feeling it will get worse with age.
22) I hate cleaning bathrooms.
23) At some point in my life, I will write a book. More than likely, it will be a book about me. I’m kind of already embarrassed about how vain that is, but know I’ll write it anyway.
24) I sort of like the smell of asparagus pee.
25) My life wouldn’t be the same without lists.

now you.

recent additions to my bookmarks

1) 911 writer's block
2) list of unusual deaths
3) bicycle maintenance
4) david shrigley
5) language is a virus
6) penny alcohol stove
7) good grief
8) bacon vodka. vodka bacon?
9) legit cig lit
10) dance of convenience
11) photo wall calendar
12) best movies you didn't see in 2008
13) hijinks ensue
14) mystery team

cart before the horse

five names for the book I haven't written

1) Seemingly Random Times
2) Hijinks Ensue
3) Things I Swore I'd Remember
4) Naked Sauna Epiphany
5) phiList

To Do

1.) figure out why two jobs that suck are not better than one that is tolerable
2.) buy more khakis
3.) find a pair of sunglasses that fit my awkward shaped face and don't make me look like either a bug or a cyborg sent to protect John Connor
4.) read that book that was leant to me and has been sitting quietly on the floor beside my bed for three months.
5.) write something other than another damned list