five questions I'd like to ask barack

1) who's your speech writer?
2) are we there yet?
3) do you have change for a dollar?
4) nervous?
5) can we?

five things that scare me

1) taking a bath
2) broken bones
3) really really small insects in large numbers
4) amateur poetry
5) smart people with power

five things that offend me

1) keanu reeves
2) places that say they're not hiring but that they're accepting applications
3) bad breath
4) facebook suggesting people it thinks I should be friends with
5) fiscal policy

things that make me shiver lately

1) the future
2) law school applications
3) the military
4) fall weather
5) sara palin

five more things that annoy me the most

1) silent rooms where the smack-gnash-chew of someone grinding ferociously at a piece of gum can be heard directly behind me
2) standardized tests
3) bodily functions
4) karma
5) political . debates

make it a three-fer

five political things that make me blink

1) I guess it's obvious which party controls (most of) the internet. Although, what made me blink was the inclusion of the "bonus video." Seriously?
2) He makes a few good points... kinda. I mean he's an actor, so I guess that means we should sort of pay attention... right? Where's Tom Cruise's opinion anyway?
3) All I could think about was "his shirt is way too big!"
4) November is going to be nuts... doesn't matter who wins
5) It's hard to remember sometimes, as we get caught up in Obama-land, that there's another side to the election. My grandmother and aunt send me plenty of closed-minded and down right racist emails on a daily basis bent at appealing to my "if not this, then must be that" sensibility. If I'm for Obama, then I'm against Iraqi freedom and our military. And if I'm against the military, then I'm anti-American and unpatriotic. If I'm anti-American, then I'm Satan. Thus, McCain must be president. I just had mental flashes of the Scarlet Letter and Animal Farm (the curse of an English major). Some of the emails I've received from family members have made me downright sick. I guess they have their point and their right, as do several hundred thousand other Americans. I just hope that, as I grow older, I don't lose my ability to stay open-minded and considerate of all the factors that sit on top of Washington, DC. I hope I'm never sending my kids and grandkids intolerant and offensive emails... But perhaps tradition, like stereotypes, exists beyond our control...

It's another twofer fer twoday

five words I aim to use more often because they make me feel good

1) gratis
2) incumbent
3) strudel
4) jolly
5) pardon


five words I never want to hear again because they make me feel gross

1) blogosphere
2) economy
3) adult
4) wikiality
5) rent

Five more rock solid, solid as a rock, rock-on, rolling rock, knock on rock, solidified, truthy truths

1.) Anything can sound profound if you parallel the subject with its opposite: "what goes up, must come down;" "one man's treasure is another man's trash;" "if it doesn't kill you, it makes you stronger;" "mo' money, mo' problems."
2.) Yelling "GO! GO! GO! GO GO!" while pumping a fist in the air can get someone to do anything.
3.) "That's not change. That's more of the same thing."
4.) A deaf president would make a great president. More hand gestures. Less liability.
5.) The fifth in the list is always supposed to be a "kicker."

five fake things I wish were real

1.) The Olympics
2.) Jurassic Park
3.) any one of these
4.) these, too
5.) US Diplomacy