five things that offend me

1) keanu reeves
2) places that say they're not hiring but that they're accepting applications
3) bad breath
4) facebook suggesting people it thinks I should be friends with
5) fiscal policy

five words i'd like to use

in the context of these definitions

1) reel: a lively dance of the Scottish Highlands
2) legit: a jazz musician's somewhat ironic term for music, or a gig, that is not Jazz
3) beerocracy: government by brewers or brewing interests
4) counterfeiter: someone who puts together kitchen cabinets
5) rookieduke

five things that I don't understand as much as I should

1.) punctuation;
2.) the government
3.) el spanish
4.) sarcasm
5.) American Psycho

five things that make me feel silly

1.) tequila
2.) the word "winningest"
3.) tucked-in tee-shirts
4.) disco music
5.) patriotism

five fake things I wish were real

1.) The Olympics
2.) Jurassic Park
3.) any one of these
4.) these, too
5.) US Diplomacy