five things I have trouble understanding

1) secret santa
2) why cold beer tastes better than warm beer
3) black lights
4) areolae = nipple frames?
5) neck ties

five words i'd like to use

in the context of these definitions

1) reel: a lively dance of the Scottish Highlands
2) legit: a jazz musician's somewhat ironic term for music, or a gig, that is not Jazz
3) beerocracy: government by brewers or brewing interests
4) counterfeiter: someone who puts together kitchen cabinets
5) rookieduke

five things that have recently made me happy

1) this picture
2) this video
3) this fake commercial
4) this movie trailer
5) my lsat score

five things that are better remembered than they actually were

1) that thing you went to drunk
2) fast food meals
3) sitcoms
4) ex-girlfriends
5) anecdotes

five more (yes i'm irritable) annoying things

1) forced accents
2) breaking a chip off in the salsa
3) being corrected on grammar
4) finding out too late that your new beer is not a twist off
5) being reminded of a mistake you already beat yourself up over

being ahead of a curve that you aren't a part of

fivethirtyeight: I blogged about it a few posts ago (number 1) and then see it talked about on the Colbert Report. I think I'll take the credit for that. Yep, it's a good thing Stephen Colbert reads my blog. You're welcome Nate Silver!

five things that are surprisingly delicious
1) warm raisins
2) peanut butter and jelly mixed with yogurt
3) cold beer after a run
4) frozen peanut butter cups
5) solving a problem

bonus) peanut butter

hard to break habits

1) laughing out of sympathy
2) staying up past midnight
3) beer
4) exaggerated and clearly audible yawns
5) sniffing fingers all day after cutting up onions
6) making lists that are longer than five points
7) ignoring people that make me uncomfortable
8) using the word "awesome" and the phrase "right on" when i have noting else to say
9) capitalizing the word "i"
10) assuming things
11) scab picking
12) internet social networking (a lot like scab picking)
13) talking during movies that aren't in theaters
14) House, Scrubs, CSI, Law and Order, and The Office
15) not using a coaster
16) selfishness
17) sleeping on my stomach
18) living beyond my means
19) using curse words that you don't consider curse words
20) introducing people by their nickname
21) air conditioning
22) midnight snack
23) reading newspaper articles from the end to the beginning
24) using commas, way too much
25) lip biting
26) procrastination
27) pessimism
28) ignorance
29) saying "you too" at inappropriate moments, like when a waiter says "enjoy your meal" or a friend says "feel better"
30) staring blankly into space

five things that defined my weekend

and I wish hadn't

1) personal pan pizzas
2) a sick roommate
3) four kegs
4) stale ultra-light cigarettes
5) the internet

five things I don't realize I'm doing until it's too late

1.) feeling smug
2.) ogling
3.) insulting someone's intelligence
4.) drinking too much
5.) procrastinating