five places where moods change quickly and often

1) conversations
2) cars
3) the end of a meal
4) various places in line
5) the internet

soundtrack to an uneventful life

Wake up: the siren song of my alarm clock laced with the growling of my girlfriends multiple vibrating phone alarms

breakfast: whistling of the tea kettle punctuated by the crackle of fried eggs

shower: the drum of the falling water and soprano whine of water pressure

internet surfing: youtube random beats interrupted by tracks of laughter and the clickity clack of computer keys

lunch: hum and chew, crunch and swallow

miscellaneous work and boredom: sighs and yawns, and wind instruments

dinner: an unpredictable opera of boiling water, cutting board chops, running faucets, and sliding kitchen drawers

late night television: assorted snippets of the who on CSI and the intoxicating final jeopardy jingle

falling asleep: the victorious bass of neighbors stereo and lyrical shouting in apartment hallway

five things that defined my weekend

and I wish hadn't

1) personal pan pizzas
2) a sick roommate
3) four kegs
4) stale ultra-light cigarettes
5) the internet

five ironic futures that will never happen

1) Ron Paul becomes the first President to ever win an election as a "write-in candidate"
2) Google becomes its own nation, builds an army of ridiculous robots, and takes over the world by force while repeatedly screaming "I'm feeling lucky!"
3) Scientists discover that marijuana is the cure for cancer, HIV, diabetes, and hangovers, but put off telling the world until after finishing an episode of Family Guy
4) Bill Gates de-invents the internet just to show everyone that he can
5) Britney Spears gets the last laugh

under-appreciated/underestimated

1.) internet comics
2.) yogurt
3.) the . dodos
4.) tim robbins
5.) things that look like other things