five things I learned from bumper stickers

1) one in five drivers is also a scuba diver
2) everyone has been to the outer banks
3) Calvin may have a bladder problem
4) offensive things are less offensive when they rhyme
5) a lot of people don't understand the term "resale value"

five criteria on which the presidential candidates should be chosen

1) their ability to recite the names of every member of the house and senate in alphabetical order
2) whether or not they have a hot daughter that is roughly my age
3) whether or not they can achieve the presidential award on their physical fitness test (I doubt mccain can pull out a decent v-sit and reach)
4) whether or not their smile makes other nations angry
5) their ability to rhyme