five depressing things

1.) that stain on your favorite shirt that you didn't notice until you wore it to that bar on Saturday night
2.) bank statements
3.) the movie Kids
4.) high school faculty
5.) depressants

five things I don't want to do

1.) go out tonight
2.) take a shower
3.) stay inside today
4.) all that stuff I'm supposed to do
5.) feel the burn

five things I had hoped this blog would do but hasn't

1.) become popular among friends and family and strangers
2.) sort out the random and incomplete thoughts that run through my everyday bullshit at the most inconvenient times
3.) decide for me what it is, exactly, that I'm supposed to do next
4.) catalogue my progression from young and inexperienced to not-so-young and inexperienced
5.) improve my grammar

five voices that floor me

1.) James Earl Jones (of course!) wait for 'S'
2.) Morgan Freeman Just listen to the "dolphin"
3.) Zach Condon
4.) Christopher Walken
5.) Jimmy . Stewart

Five more rock solid, solid as a rock, rock-on, rolling rock, knock on rock, solidified, truthy truths

1.) Anything can sound profound if you parallel the subject with its opposite: "what goes up, must come down;" "one man's treasure is another man's trash;" "if it doesn't kill you, it makes you stronger;" "mo' money, mo' problems."
2.) Yelling "GO! GO! GO! GO GO!" while pumping a fist in the air can get someone to do anything.
3.) "That's not change. That's more of the same thing."
4.) A deaf president would make a great president. More hand gestures. Less liability.
5.) The fifth in the list is always supposed to be a "kicker."

The most profound things that have gone through my head in the last week

1.) "Even flushing the toilet has pros and cons."
2.) "If you throw enough wet spaghetti on a wall, some of it will stick."
3.) "Sometimes I feel that I'm the most fucked up when I'm not, actually, fucked up."
4.) "One day you'll wake up and realize that there are more days behind you than ahead of you, and you'll decide one of two things: keep looking ahead or start looking behind. And I can't decide which one would be better."
5.) "It's only a body."

five things that make me feel silly

1.) tequila
2.) the word "winningest"
3.) tucked-in tee-shirts
4.) disco music
5.) patriotism

five acquired tastes

1.) black coffee
2.) sleepy lyrics coupled with lazy beats
3.) pleated pants
4.) cocktails made with three ingredients or less
5.) the work of Tim Burton

To Do

1.) figure out why two jobs that suck are not better than one that is tolerable
2.) buy more khakis
3.) find a pair of sunglasses that fit my awkward shaped face and don't make me look like either a bug or a cyborg sent to protect John Connor
4.) read that book that was leant to me and has been sitting quietly on the floor beside my bed for three months.
5.) write something other than another damned list

five things I don't realize I'm doing until it's too late

1.) feeling smug
2.) ogling
3.) insulting someone's intelligence
4.) drinking too much
5.) procrastinating

five fake things I wish were real

1.) The Olympics
2.) Jurassic Park
3.) any one of these
4.) these, too
5.) US Diplomacy

five things I don't like very much

1.) people who pretend to talk on cell phones when walking alone in public
2.) black lights
3.) t-shirts that are stretched out around the neck
4.) picky eaters
5.) dirty jokes

five creative blog titles I'll never use

1.) black and blue and read all over
2.) bucket list
3.) comma chameleon
4.) status quote
5.) check this shit out

yet yet again again with with the the twofer

five things that I like to be
1.) asleep
2.) entertained
3.) proud
4.) this tall to ride
5.) right

five things I don't like to be
1.) awake
2.) itchy
3.) third
4.) late
5.) right


By the way, this is my favorite website right now

ten things I have done since my last post

It's been a while.

1.) had a birthday
2.) scaled a mountain
3.) learned something new
4.) gotten a second job
5.) come up with a new emoticon for sanguine [:<≠>
6.) gotten mad at myself for not doing something more often
7.) ate raw oysters
8.) gotten two haircuts
9.) started eating meat again
10.) laughed at someone